Too many damn scales

Look at the bottle or website of your favourite hot sauce and you’re bound to see at least some variation of the mess above. You got 5-point scales, 6-point scales, 10-point scales, 12-point scales, thermometers, mild/medium/hot scales, and of course the mother of all scales: Scoville. They are all trying to tell us how much hurt these sauces will inflict without any consistency, standard, or accuracy. I applaud their effort, but it’s time for something better.

Scoville is meaningless

Well, what about Scoville? On the surface it seems like the best scale and is as close to an objective standard as we can get. True, but it has it’s problems too:

• It’s not human. The range goes from 0 to (as of today) 2,693,000. What does that mean? Is 400,000 hot? who knows.
• It’s not feasible. Most sauces don’t have a Scoville rating because it’s not easy to calculate.
• Perception varies. Take for example DA’BOMB Beyond Insanity. This sauce has a measly Scoville rating of 135,600. I can tell you that anyone who has ever tried that sauce knows it feels a helluva lot hotter than that.

The new standard (Dzamage)

I designed my scale for how humans consume hot sauce. The result is a 12 point scale that answers the question:

How would it feel to the average person to consume a standard dinner-sized plate (10-12″) of food (evenly distributed approximately 1″ thick) with a moderate drizzle of hot sauce applied.

There are a couple exceptions to this rule:

1. If the sauce is prepared for a specific use case (such as chicken wings), the test would instead be for that specific use case in a restaurant-sized serving. So in the case of a wing sauce, the test would instead be for 100% coverage of 8 standard sized wings.
2. If the test is not sauce related, but rather a feature of a dish or drink, the test would instead be for full consumption of a restaurant-sized serving of that dish or drink.

Wait a sec, what’s a moderate drizzle?

I knew you would ask, so here’s a detailed diagram:

Now that we have the parameters sorted out, here’s how the scores are distributed:

The Dzamage Scale (DZ)

1 DZ

1. No perceived heat at all. For example Ranch salad dressing is a 1.

2 – 4 DZ (Mild)

The mild range is assigned 3 values:

2. Barely perceivable heat

3. Left wanting much more heat

4. Left wanting a bit more heat

5 – 9 DZ (Goldilocks)

I’ve given the most range to the Goldilocks zone, because variety is the spice of life (pun intended). Some dishes you want a bit spicier than you would normally, some you want a bit milder.

5. A bit more mild than perfect (edge of enjoyability)

6. A tad milder than perfect

7. The Perfect amount of heat

8. A tad hotter than perfect

9. A bit more hot than perfect (the edge of comfort)

10 – 12 DZ (Hot)

Much like the mild range, the hot range is given 3 values:

10. Uncomfortably hot

11. Painfully hot

12. Dangerously hot

13 DZ

13 Dzamage (which isn’t an official value) is reserved for one thing and one thing only, pure capsaicin extract and nothing else.

Feel free to use this scale

In fact, I encourage it’s usage. Put it on your bottle, website, whatever. If you want, link back here so that people know what it means. I dream of a world with a consistent standard for spicy: consistant, human-friendly, and easy to determine.

I’ve met a lot of experts in my career, and I can tell you something I’ve noticed. The really good ones that really know what they’re doing… they’re completely lost like me and you. It’s the ones that are arrogant enough to actually believe they know everything that you have to worry about. Those are the true imposters.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

–W.C. Fields

As someone who has been called an expert many times, I can assure you experts don’t exist. We are all pretending we know what we are doing and we are all making it up as we go. At this point, the world is changing so fast that as soon as you think you have a handle on something, the world has already moved on and you’re a decade behind. So, stop worrying about labels and about being good-enough, and just do the work.

This story is part of an ongoing series diving into the origins of each of rules outlined in Octavo (My eight-fold principles of life and work). Click here to see the full set of rules and to download and print your own copy of the rules and Zine.

Octavo (8vo) is both a format and a philosophy; it is a sheet of paper folded into 8 equal sections to form a book, and it is a philosophy folded into eight principles to form the architecture of how we work and live. Keep these principles posted wherever your work is done and refer to them often. Keep the zine in your back pocket at all times and refer to it when tempted to stray. Both the principles and the zine are provided here for free and can be printed from any monochrome printer that accepts legal-sized paper. Distribute as you see fit to your friends, family, and colleagues (but do not modify).

Many confuse being busy with getting work done; these are not the same. This especially goes for meetings. More often than not, meetings are a waste of time that could have been better spent actually working. Avoid them if at all possible. If you don’t need to be on one, decline it (or at least ask if your attendance is necessary). I’ve seen calendars packed full of these things, to which I usually ask the poor soul caught in meeting hell, “when do you actually do work?” Even if your calendar isn’t packed solid, meetings sit as boulders in your day that knock you out of your flow state. If you’re running a meeting, do everyone a favour and make it as short as possible (or better yet, cancel it if it’s not necessary).

By-ends and silver Demas both agree;
One calls, the other runs, that he may be
A sharer in his lucre; so these do
Take up in this world, and no further go.

– John Bunyan

Now onto more important things: your time is precious and it belongs to you. Guard it with your life, because it is your life. Understand your priorities and say no to anything that does not align to them. When it is time to work, do your work. When it is not time to work, go home, and be with your family. This is what is most precious. No one on their death bed wishes they could have more time to work and make money.

This story is part of an ongoing series diving into the origins of each of rules outlined in Octavo (My eight-fold principles of life and work). Click here to see the full set of rules and to download and print your own copy of the rules and Zine.

Octavo (8vo) is both a format and a philosophy; it is a sheet of paper folded into 8 equal sections to form a book, and it is a philosophy folded into eight principles to form the architecture of how we work and live. Keep these principles posted wherever your work is done and refer to them often. Keep the zine in your back pocket at all times and refer to it when tempted to stray. Both the principles and the zine are provided here for free and can be printed from any monochrome printer that accepts legal-sized paper. Distribute as you see fit to your friends, family, and colleagues (but do not modify).

This rule was heavily inspired by James Victore and his book “Feck Perfuction: Dangerous Ideas on the Business of Life.” I highly recommend this book to everyone! Go out and buy it right now. If you already have a copy, buy another one.

It will be tempting (especially in the sanitized corporate world) to tamp down your work in order for it to be palatable for mass consumption. Don’t do it, the world needs more weird sh!t in it. Look around you, everything these days is boring, inoffensive, beige, oatmeal. Easy for the masses to consume without getting a tummy ache. There’s no passion, excitement, or edge anymore lest someone get… upset!!! (heaven forbid)

The things that made you weird as a kid, make you great today.

– James Victore

A large impact on a few is worth more than a small impact on many, so get comfortable with people hating your work. If they hate it, it wasn’t meant for them. Keep your work weird, and stop making oatmeal that everyone is just ok with.

You are an artist and a genius. Don’t fit in. Don’t even try.

– James Victore

This story is part of an ongoing series diving into the origins of each of rules outlined in Octavo (My eight-fold principles of life and work). Click here to see the full set of rules and to download and print your own copy of the rules and Zine.

Octavo (8vo) is both a format and a philosophy; it is a sheet of paper folded into 8 equal sections to form a book, and it is a philosophy folded into eight principles to form the architecture of how we work and live. Keep these principles posted wherever your work is done and refer to them often. Keep the zine in your back pocket at all times and refer to it when tempted to stray. Both the principles and the zine are provided here for free and can be printed from any monochrome printer that accepts legal-sized paper. Distribute as you see fit to your friends, family, and colleagues (but do not modify).

There are two types of people in the world, the “don’t release anything until it’s flawless” people, and the “minimum viable product” people. I don’t agree with either of of ’em.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of “minimum viable product.” It helps to break that idea that something has to be flawless before launching it into the world. That being said, life is about balance and existing in that uncomfortable grey zone between the two extremes. In other words, don’t launch sloppy work, but if you wait for it to be perfect, you’ll never launch.

80% of perfectionism is just egotistical navel-gazing. I saw this a lot in the design world where designers were producing work to win awards rather than solve business problems. If you’re producing work just to win awards, it’s time to reevaluate your goals in life.

Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes, but he’s a little bit of an asshole and no one invites him to their pool parties.

– Ze Frank

Instead, I recommend understanding what your work is trying to accomplish. Now, before you put the brakes on releasing your work into the world, ask yourself if this imperfection you’ve noticed will actually impact the purpose of that work. If no, then stop wasting time gazing into your own belly button and push the damn button. Yeah yeah, you’re detail oriented, but the truth is 98% of people consuming your work don’t care that much, and the other 2% can f*** off.

Push the button.

This story is part of an ongoing series diving into the origins of each of rules outlined in Octavo (My eight-fold principles of life and work). Click here to see the full set of rules and to download and print your own copy of the rules and Zine.

Octavo (8vo) is both a format and a philosophy; it is a sheet of paper folded into 8 equal sections to form a book, and it is a philosophy folded into eight principles to form the architecture of how we work and live. Keep these principles posted wherever your work is done and refer to them often. Keep the zine in your back pocket at all times and refer to it when tempted to stray. Both the principles and the zine are provided here for free and can be printed from any monochrome printer that accepts legal-sized paper. Distribute as you see fit to your friends, family, and colleagues (but do not modify).

This rule isn’t so much about the space I work in being sacred as it is the space around my person being sacred. I’m a firm believer that the mind doesn’t stop at the skull. Instead, it extends beyond your body and bleeds into the spaces you occupy. I know, sounds a bit new age, but stick with me here.

If you’re finding you’re having trouble concentrating, getting work done, enjoying time with those you love, or feel overwhelmed because you’re “so busy” all the time, take a moment to notice the space you’re in. The space you occupy is a reflection of the state of your mind. How’s it look?

Always be knolling

– Tom Sachs

Get your house in order. Clean your room and your mind will follow.

This story is part of an ongoing series diving into the origins of each of rules outlined in Octavo (My eight-fold principles of life and work). Click here to see the full set of rules and to download and print your own copy of the rules and Zine.

Octavo (8vo) is both a format and a philosophy; it is a sheet of paper folded into 8 equal sections to form a book, and it is a philosophy folded into eight principles to form the architecture of how we work and live. Keep these principles posted wherever your work is done and refer to them often. Keep the zine in your back pocket at all times and refer to it when tempted to stray. Both the principles and the zine are provided here for free and can be printed from any monochrome printer that accepts legal-sized paper. Distribute as you see fit to your friends, family, and colleagues (but do not modify).

This is an especially hard rule for me to follow, which is why I made sure to include it. I hate failing; I’m one of those people that after failing replays the failure over and over in my head. I need to be more like a cat.

“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.”

– Captain Picard

I believe at its core there are two reasons why I have trouble with this rule:

1. I don’t fail often enough
2. When I do fail, I don’t do it gracefully (I’m too hard on myself)

At some point your going to screw up and break something (maybe something big and important). You’ve probably done it a bunch of times already, but you survived and now you’re a little wiser than you were before. Fix what you broke and move on to your next failure.

Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn

– James Victore

Embrace your inner cat: fail fast, fail often, fail gracefully; failure is part of the process.

This story is part of an ongoing series diving into the origins of each of rules outlined in Octavo (My eight-fold principles of life and work). Click here to see the full set of rules and to download and print your own copy of the rules and Zine.

Octavo (8vo) is both a format and a philosophy; it is a sheet of paper folded into 8 equal sections to form a book, and it is a philosophy folded into eight principles to form the architecture of how we work and live. Keep these principles posted wherever your work is done and refer to them often. Keep the zine in your back pocket at all times and refer to it when tempted to stray. Both the principles and the zine are provided here for free and can be printed from any monochrome printer that accepts legal-sized paper. Distribute as you see fit to your friends, family, and colleagues (but do not modify).

When you get frustrated about something you’re doing, do you quit or do you push through? The feeling of frustration sucks and nobody likes it, but understanding what’s underneath that feeling and choosing to embrace it is what separates the victors from the victims in life.

There’s plenty of research on the benefits of having a growth mindset over a fixed one. This is something I’m very careful to try to cultivate in own my children. Rule 2 speaks directly to that by re-framing what I see as the main contributor to the fixed mindset: fear of frustration.

I remember seeing mention (in a long lost article on the internet somewhere) of frustration being the physical feeling of your brain building new neural pathways. I don’t know if this is true, but but I like the idea of it. Suddenly, frustration isn’t something bad that we must try to avoid, but instead it’s just what learning feels like. Feeling frustrated? Good, that means your brain is still working. Give it time, and that task that seems like an impenetrable wall now, will seem minuscule later. Take it a step further and lean into frustration, understand it’s part of the process, and you’ll be unstoppable.

This story is part of an ongoing series diving into the origins of each of rules outlined in Octavo (My eight-fold principles of life and work). Click here to see the full set of rules and to download and print your own copy of the rules and Zine.

Octavo (8vo) is both a format and a philosophy; it is a sheet of paper folded into 8 equal sections to form a book, and it is a philosophy folded into eight principles to form the architecture of how we work and live. Keep these principles posted wherever your work is done and refer to them often. Keep the zine in your back pocket at all times and refer to it when tempted to stray. Both the principles and the zine are provided here for free and can be printed from any monochrome printer that accepts legal-sized paper. Distribute as you see fit to your friends, family, and colleagues (but do not modify).

However, after many revisions, I wanted the rule to land closer to the inspiration of this particular rule: my old boss. After all, “Release the Kraken” was his way of telling us to be the asshole in the situation.

When I first started working for this guy, I couldn’t tell if he was the worst boss I ever had or the best. He was unlike any boss I had before. There was no hand holding, no sugar coating, and no bullsh!t. He expected his team to operate far outside their comfort zone and expected results. That being said, once you proved to be an asset to his team, you were untouchable. He was a bully, but one that believed in his team, treated them like royalty, and fought hard on behalf of them.

I remember seeing a graph online somwhere in the past describing the perfect boss. The y-axis indicated “how much they care about people,” and the x-axis indicated “how much of an asshole they are.” According to this article, leaders that landed in the top right quadrant (assholes that care about people) make the best bosses. This guy was the embodiment of this principle.

That’s the kind of boss I want to be: One that releases the Kraken for the right reasons.

This story is part of an ongoing series diving into the origins of each of rules outlined in Octavo (My eight-fold principles of life and work). Click here to see the full set of rules and to download and print your own copy of the rules and Zine.

Octavo (8vo) is both a format and a philosophy; it is a sheet of paper folded into 8 equal sections to form a book, and it is a philosophy folded into eight principles to form the architecture of how we work and live. Keep these principles posted wherever your work is done and refer to them often. Keep the zine in your back pocket at all times and refer to it when tempted to stray. Both the principles and the zine are provided here for free and can be printed from any monochrome printer that accepts legal-sized paper. Distribute as you see fit to your friends, family, and colleagues (but do not modify).

You shall have no other gods beside me.

I’ve noticed lately that when I eat sugary foods, I feel something in my brain. I get a weird hit of euphoria that makes me want more, and more. It feels good, but it doesn’t make me feel good. It feels like it’s trying to manipulate me, overpower me, and I don’t like it.

It feels good, but it doesn’t make me feel good.

No more false idols

The first commandment seems like the simplest one to follow, but is probably the most often broken commandment. The truth is if we look close enough, we all have false gods that we worship. Be honest with yourself and take an inventory of the vices in your life. Hell, they don’t even need to be vices, just things that have power over you and that you worship with your time and attention.

Some popular idols include:

• Money
• Anxiety
• Alcohol
• Food
• Gambling
• Your phone
• Social media
• Doom-scrolling

For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not keep doing what I want. Instead, I do what I hate.

– Paul

For me, these idols are of sugar and carbohydrate. They aren’t good for me, they don’t make me feel good, and they are standing between me and my goals, so why the hell am I still eating them? Why do I allow them to have power over me?

40 days in the desert without dessert

So, for this Lenten season, I’m done with sugar and snacks. For those that also want to try this out, the rules are:

• No sugary desserts (cake, pie, cookies)
• No sugary foods (cereal, granola bars)
• No sugary drinks (pop, juice)
• No adding sugar to food (coffee)
• No snack foods (chips, pretzels, popcorn, cheap carbohydrates)
• No more snacking (between meals)
• Limit foods with added sugar (but don’t obsess about it)
• Limit foods with fake sugar (sugar free sweeteners)
• And remember, always fail gracefully (like a cat)

I’ll keep you posted on how it goes and how I feel through the journey. Once the 40 days are up, we’ll see if I let them back into my life, but at least I’ll be sure of one thing: I will have reminded them (or at least myself) that they have no power over me.